For I have further gatekeeping to do besides putting passwords on my entries, another sanctuary, I wish I’m more hardworking on writing stuff down on paper, but maybe the other sanctuary will do for now.
People just like to make life for others difficult cause it’s always easier to see someone else whom you’re not close to to be in difficulties. Then it just spreads like a virus and soon it’s the norm and everyone accepts it and calls it life. Nowadays no one wants to get hurt and that it’s easier to push someone away than baring to them, then it’s deemed as you needing to resolve the problems on your own. Nowadays it’s so easy for people to be lazy, when some situation requires seriousness and a little vulnerability, it’s easier to just be vague or take it as a joke or to avoid it altogether. Where have I been? It’s like I am in a deep slumber of carefree-ness and routine in the past that I had suddenly snapped myself awake and having all these demons coming at me from every directions. The worst realisation that you woke up alone. I screamed and screamed till my throat is hoarse but no sound came out. I guess it’s a sign that I ought to just shut up, not to be alive but just living, to meet all my bodily needs and nothing beyond that. I hate it that I’m voiceless, even if a whisper is managed, silence would greet me like a cold, bleak wall. Why tell me something that I already knew? Or that in life things just have to be resolved on your own? Why can’t that belief be broken? Never was it tried to help others to just, move forward. Which is why we’re all stuck in the same position, voiceless and wallowing in self-pity that we’re all meant to resolve this on our own. And now I’m aching to just crawl back and hibernate into the deepest abyss possible and never come back.
I want to tell the truth, but…
1. They might be freaking out at the truth. BUT they’re the kind who rather I tell them the truth than them opening the can of worms.
2. They might be okay with the truth. THIS IS VERY DEBATABLE.
When a witch appears and the music plays. I get pretty freaked out enough for it to play in my ears so much so I can’t fall asleep sometimes. But I’m a pig…so ok bai.
Hoozah! Thanks to the boipren for the Moleskine organiser~ 
WANTS/NEEDS:
- more clothes (!!!) MOMMAH PLEASE SHOW ME THE MONEY, my mind is strong but my purse is weak! (quoting denver’s cousin LOL)
- a pair of converses, I think this should be done every year.
- flats
- Marc Jacobs Daisy/ Paul Smith Rose
- Contacts
- hair dryer with cold air function
- A MATTRESS
- a wardrobe, the current one is so worn the exterior wooden layer is peeling
- a trim of the bangs
….ok I’m trying to be realistic here. 
doubt can get everything by this year :’( NEVER MIND GOT CHEENA NEW YEAR COME QUICK!
JUST SHUT UP, WHAT’S WRONG WITH SHUTTING UP? YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED WHEN IT IS BRUSHED AWAY LIKE CRUMBS ON THE TABLES. SO SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. YOU’RE NOT IMPORTANT, PEOPLE WON’T TAKE WHAT YOU SAID SERIOUSLY. THERE IS NO HOPING TO THAT. THERE IS NO CHANGING TO THAT. YOU’RE UNIMPORTANT.
CHINESE FAMILIES ARE SO FUCKED UP. I HATE , HATE, HATE THE CONCEPT OF FAMILY. THINGS NEVER GO MY WAY CAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING VAGINA BUT I REFUSE TO FUCKING TO CONDONE TO SUCH FUCKEDUPKERY OF THE ANCIENT, CAUSE I’M AGGRESSIVE LIKE THAT AND OoOoOoOOh MY FAMILY MEMBERS AREN’T!?! SO AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE KNEEL DOWN TO EVERYTHING?! wtf SERIOUSLY no wars would have started and the blacks would still be looked down. SO WHAT MOTHER?! SO WHAT IF I’M BORN FEMALE? I’M NOT GOING TO CONDONE NONSENSE PEOPLE GIVE LIKE YOU, I’VE NO TOLERANCE FOR SUCH NONSENSE AND I WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WHERE I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TOLERATE SUCH FUCKED UP-NESS. SO WHAT MOTHER? SO WHAT IF I’M BORN FEMALE? I’M NOT GOING TO CLEAN HOUSES FOREVER HELLO YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT PUT ME THROUGH 10 FUCKING YEARS OF EDUCATION (AND COUNTING) FOR ME TO CLEAN THE FUCKING HOUSE CAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING VAGINA SO I SHOULD FUCKING CLEAN THE HOUSE. THEN HOW YOU PUT THE BROTHERS THROUGH EDUCATION TO BECOME MALE CHAUVINISTIC PIGS?! SERIOUSLY. WHY IS A MAID SO HARD TO GET WHEN IT CAN MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER.
